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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Life

I'll be posting more florida pictures soon but first. Where did this idea come from that I'm some sort of failing idiot? Yeah. I have a cane. Legitimitly. I can't spell though... If people need a doctors note, possibly I can get one for you. You don't think I'm in pain? Ever had appendacitis or similarly painful issue? That's what my 24 hour every second of everyday abdominal pain is compared too. You know what helps? Almost nothing. Why don't I act like I'm in pain? I do sometimes. When I do things and the pain gets even worse. But what good would it do me to cry non-stop all day and night? And I've already learned that when most people on this earth ask how you are? they don't really wan't to know. So I always am polite and say ok. If you really want to know. Point it out. But while you're doing that, maybe you could remember that I'm not at all stupid. I do know what it is to have someone be condescending to you. And it's really upsetting. Getting better? It's only possible to a small degree but I'm trying. Getting a job? When I get better, that's the first thing I'll do. Going to school? I didn't graduate high school because my pain was so severe I couldn't get out of bed. It had nothing to do with my inteligence. Before I was so severly sick, it used to be, when I said something someone didn't understand they would assume it was because I was smart and knew what I was saying. The second people found out about high school...they talk slower and with smaller words. And now It's assumed I make stuff up. I don't care what Nikki has said to you. She will tell you any lie she can. She thinks it unfair we share a family. Oh, and my photography? I am serious about it. So when photography is brought up and everyone talks about how wonderful everyone elses is...Maybe people could stop with the,
"Brittany! Still taking those pictures?" Pictures. Not doing photography.
"Yes,"
"Good For You!" Then ignores me. Condescending to pieces. I may be sick and depressed. But I'm not stupid and I'm tired of all this. I'm sure I can do better, but I don't have the equipment and my family hasn't the money. And I can't exactly run around. I use what I have, and that's the best I can do. I know I just made everyone hate me with the truth. But fine. I have at least two friends I can call. I will live and die with and possibly from these diseases, but in the meantime I will accomplish anything I can, and even though it takes longer to do than the average person, you'll still have to call me 'Doctor', when I get my PhD.
Sorry if I made people angry. I'm in a lot of pain right now, physical and emotional, and it has to come out somewhere.
I'll put up more florida pictures when I think I feel well enough to sit here forever for the uploads.

2 comments:

Nomad said...

*applause*

I'm proud of you, Brittany. You need to stand up for yourself more.

Sickly Florida Girl said...

Brittany i am so flade they you are sticken up for yourself. But brittany you are not at all stupied.you should not let what people say get to you . I know you want people to understand but it is going to take a long time ..


Hug's and spoon's
Megan